Lynne Spears Speaks!
The Dirty Disher has a hilarious rendition of Lynne Spears‘ OK! interview.
On finding out Jamie Lynn was pregnant:
“I said, well, it’s about **** time, your sister gets knocked up just breathing Federline oxygen. We need some money and attention, it’s not like you can tap dance or hog call. That Nickelodeon stuff is pocket change.”
On her reaction:
“Shocked at the work in store for me. I now have to deal with finding a nanny for the new paycheck, errr, blessed soul who is joining us here at the Spears farm and hot maternity clothes that show off Jamie Lynn’s new cleavage. You should see her teenage nipples! I should call Maxim, let me make a note of that.”
On knowing it was real:
“I saw the dollar signs..no, I mean, I saw the ultrasound.”
On her teenage daughter raising a baby:
“We will buy her the best immigrant ever to raise this paycheck. Besides, look what a good mom her sister is. I taught them everything they know.”
On if Jamie Lynn and Casey should get married:
“We aren’t sharing photo money with that hillbilly sperm donor!”
On grandchildren:
“They are the best! Little Jippy James and that other one, I call him Stretch-Mark, make my life complete. ”
Her hopes for 2008:
“That Jamie Lynn pops out triplets, then we can charge OK three million! Keep your fingers crossed!”
POSTED BY: Jebbica
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