We are used to hearing Simon Cowell say things like “you suck”, “who told you you can sing?”, “you’re horrible” and “Incredibly bad”, and we actually�like it. As it turns out, according to reports on British magazine Page Six,�Terri Seymour may be of the opinion that Simon also sucks, that he is horrible, and that he can’t be a responsable man.

�According to the report, Seymour, who is well known herself as an Extra correspondant, claims that Simon doesn’t want to have a baby, a desire which, she, naturally as most women do, harbors and wants to see it fullfilled soon. Seymour has been said to say that their relationship will not last that long.

The heart of their problem as it is claimed is that Simon does not ever want any kids wityh Seymour which leads me to wonder about his committment to staying with her for the long run. If all of this is true, it also proves Simon to be just another ordinary man.

Hopefully the couple will recover, come to mid terms and go on from this experience with the wisdom to live together forever, if the rumors of the separation prove real.

As for the time being, Terri Seymour makes my list of must do�women. If Simon does not want to get her pregnant, I’d be more than happy to do so for him, and I’d take care of the baby as well.�No baby men writing here. �

As far as Simon’s fashion atstes go, he is always wearing solid black t-shirts or suits, the latter one specially at American Idol shows. Good choice by Simon because dark black always brings out the masculinity in us guys, it’s solid tone a background to what manly spirit is actually�mostly about. Even the�very bad guys like Al Capone always preferred black when dressing if you look at their photos from the time of the golden era of the mob.�

As always, much love and wishes to our dear Backseatcuddler.com readers. You are the most important part of this website.

Happy Holidays! See you next week!

��

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Amy Winehouse, the artist best known for her off-stage scandals, will now be known for something else: She has been nominated for six Grammy awards, including the best album award for “Back To Black”. Winehouse, whose last name sounds rather appropiate considering who we are talking about, also has her song “Rehab”, nominated for record and song of the year.

Now, I won’t come with any bs here. You know me and I always say what I feel. For someone to admit they are addicted to Marijuana and to put out a song named Rehab, she has to have some cojones. She has led a less than ideal life and I would not recommend anyone to do what she has done-like, the drugs-but I admire about her the fact she has the courage to be who she is and live without caring what others think of her. In reality, you cannot live worrying about what your neighbor will say about you because you can be the sweetest�girl in Earth and your neighbors could still think of you as a B”eep!”, and you know what I mean.

Winehouse, however, has been a fashion disaster as of late. Just see her latest photos from London, walking in a red bra and blue jeans outside a hotel, showing off her cool but rather distasteful looking-with that “outfit” anyways-tattoos. You DO NOT, under any circumstances, walk out looking like that in a red bra and blue jeans, unless you want a biker to pick you up and take you away in a Harley Davidson! She gets no award from me in fashion and -100 stars in the 0 to 10 scale.

My must do lady of the week-Hilary Clinton.�She may be a bit on the old side and you may be Republican, but an afternoon at a nudist beach in St. Martin with her sounds very good to me!!

I love you all our backseatcuddler.com readers and thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming back every day. You are the ones who make this a great website to come to. And next week, I shall return.�

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Christmas looks dark for actor Dennis Quaid, 53, and�wife Kimberly, 36, as their twins, 21 day old��Thomas Boone and Zoe Grace Quaid fight for their lives once again. The Quaid twins were among three patients who were given 1,000 times the amount allowed on a patient of a medicine named Heparin at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, California.

According to the free encyclopedia, Wikipedia.org, Heparin�has the highest negative charge density of any known biological molecule. While I don’t know exactly what that means since I am no doctor, that does not sound good at all.

Heparin is a blood thinner �or anticoagulant. One of the only known treatments for an overdose is protamine sulfate, which according to Wikipedia, also must be added to the overdosed patients at the same amount at which the Heparin was given. My question is, how will two tender, newborn babies whose bodies are just starting to get used to the environment, fight 1,000 cc’s of Heparin and then 1,000 cc’s of protamine sulfate? Poor angels!

I myself was the victim of an irresponsible nurse myself at age 15 when she accidentally overdosed me with Venadryl. Clearly my life was in danger although not even 10 percent as much as these tiny babies’ lifes were. It was a memorable night for me because of what I cannot recall. My body had such reactions that I have been told, I had the entire medical staff working on me while I�offered them insults, under the influence of the medicine.

Clearly, we must hold the hospitals accountable when things like these happen.�Everybody commits mistakes, but when it comes down to dealing with lifes, mistakes cannot be overlooked. How can hospitals hire such inept people like the ones that gave these babies the overdose?

With that comment said, I will like to point out that �Black dresses are it again. An elegant Black dress is always chic for a dinner or party occasion and would fit perfectly with the supercold Decembers countries north of the Equator usually have. But be careful what you wear when you buy a Black dress,grandma’s old �wool is not in, leather is. Depending on the occasion also, a Black or Red hat may or may not be reccomendable. With so much partying to be done, you have to look your best and that’s what I am here for.

I will not mention any female target of desires this week, because my only desire is for the Quaid twins to be able to surpass this new, uphill battle the two angels will face. I will pray to The Lord so that their lives are saved and that his parents may find Him through this, so far terrible, experience, and that this Christmas really brings a miracle to the Quaid family. I beg you to join me in my prayers.

Until next week!�

��

I know that you probably came expecting to read some article by me with some attempts at�jokes or something, but this is far too serious to make some fun and to leave out. �

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Yvonne Buschbaum, a German Olympic athlete that competed at the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia, has become one of the first celebrities to acknowledge in public she will undergo a sex change process. Buschbaum plans to become a man, according to her website.

Buschbaum is a Track and Field star who placed sixth at the Pole Vault race in the Australian Olympics. She said she always felt like a man, and she will retire in order to be able to go through a hormone treatment that would have been impossible to get if she was still competing.

While certainly one of the first high profile athletes to declare such intentions, Buschbaum is not the first athlete to want or get a sex change.�A few years ago, Indonesian�boxer Parinya Charoenphol�underwent surgery and treatment to become a woman. Her case caused great controversy in the boxing world because of fears she would be unfairly equipped if she decided to participate in�women’s boxing.

Yvonne Buschbaum must be held for her courage and bravery in a world of sports where�LGBT issues are still seen as taboo. Not very long ago, NFL star Junior�Seau did some negative comments after a former San Diego Chargers teeammate came out, after all, and that attitude is still prevalent around� the world and magnified in sports.

If Buschbaum wants to have a sex change, I say,�more power to the future him! It’s her right to be who she-he wants to be, just like it is my right to go to Taco Bell and eat a burrito or to buy a egg-yellow shirt at K-Mart if I want to and�nobody has the right�to prohibit me from doing so, although I would be commiting fashion suicide if I did buy a egg-yellow shirt. �So she is allowed to do it, and I hope her well for the rest of her life.

Medically speaking, there is a lot of ignorance when it comes to sex change operations. The medical field has come a long way covering this issue since the first sex change was performed in 1930. Today, many male to female transexuals look more�and more like natural born girls than ever. Recently at an HBO documentary, I saw a Hawaiian transexual woman who could be hired by Jennifer Lopez to be a personal decoy�because she looks so much like J. Lo. �Not only that, but the risks concerning these types of surgeries are large.

Male to female transexuals are at great risk of�developing breast cancer because of the current technology used to grow breasts. The risks involvimg female to male patients are unknown but there has to be some health risk to that operation too. The sole action of changing one’s hormones itself carries great risk, because the human body does not like adapting to new things.

Ivonne Buschbaum has claimed that she did not undertake any hormone treatments during her athletic career because that is banned in her sport.

This week’s woman I must do is�Alicia Silverstone. The animal lover has a person who feels animalistic desires towards her here.� Alicia, when you read this, ring me up, babe!

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving and happy shopping day, my friends! You all deserve it for being this lousy writer’s loyal fans!���

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Hey amigas! How are you all? Well, I’ll start by saying that this week, I want to dedicate this column to Joey Bishop, who passed away on October 17th. I know, that was a month ago, but still,� those days I was probably too busy preparing my Halloween costume to even think about dedicating something to him. Whether we like it or not, him, Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis JR. became part of Hollywood history and a piece of Americana as The Rat Pack.

Ok, to the current issues now.� Well, maybe not so current.� As you all know by now, Prince Harry and�Chelsy Davy�split.� She rode his plane and then took off on another one and headed home to South Africa.� Maybe his plane was not working well enough.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. Today, I want to talk about Harry’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II. I love the Queen’s dresses, they are elegant, luxurious and….blue!

I love royal blue on any dress, provided, of course, that you have the good sense to wear them only once in a blue moon. The Queen wears royal blue to honor her country and I understand that, but shouldn’t she wear a white hat and red shoes too if she wants to honor Union Jack so badly? Jack, I beg you to please�get the…blue out of the way, because your Queen has overworn it! She looks ragged, she looks stale and bored with all that blue on all the time.

Well, perhaps her looks aren’t entirely blue’s fault, since she is ripe old already, and, looking back through photos, she was never quite Richard Simmons, hugging and kissing people and congratulating them for their success either. And she is boring. While we love to talk about the Royal Family, I cannot imagine her sitting with me and laughing about a Desperate Housewifes episode, or her son Prince Charles and I, Antonio Santiago, speaking of the good ol’ days when Frank Bruno challenged Mike Tyson for boxing’s world Heavyweight title. I just don’t see them talking to regular people like you and I, because, heck, they don’t do that.

The Queen has got to wise up.� Hasn’t she caught up something on her trips to New York, Rome, Delhi, Paris and around her own backyard in London? She would actually look quite elegant dressed in Black, White or another, sober color. I like royal blue, I love royal blue on any event, it looks classy and elegant. I just hate when people wear the same color over and over again.� Maybe The Queen doesn’t have anyone who knows how to wash clothes, so she has been wearing the same dress over and over again, only changing the way in which she puts it on!

I truly believe she needs a few blues clues!

Ok, so it’s that time of the week. The title girl I need to do this week goes out to…ta ta ta tan!! ta ta ta tan! And the winner is: Chelsy Davy!!!!! The newly singled South African is gorgeous, she’s hot, and she just broke off that Prince who should turn into a frog forever, Harry.

Well, my dear amigas, that’s all for now. Until next week, I love you all! Take care and watch your men, I know how we men are, so trust me, you have to!

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Today, I was watching Nickelodeon with my niece, Isabel, when an idea occured to me. We watched Zoey 101 and Unfabulous and it ocurred to me, Nickelodeon should put Emma Roberts and Jamie Lynn Spears together in a movie. It would be a hit among Nickelodeon’s target audience and probably a good movie too, if you still like teen films, that is.

As it�turns out, Spears and Roberts are already jamming it out together.� The two are reported to be best friends and spend a lot of their free time hanging out together.

Jamie Lynn, for her part, has been the focus of much controversy because of her bloody�connection to Britney Spears, while Emma Roberts has kept basically a more low profile, despite also being the niece of Julia�Roberts.�

Most people around the world have critizized these young starlets, and their not as young co-divas Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Paris�Hilton and Nicole Ritchie�for their behavior, which some call stupid, just irresponsible, reckless, etc, etc.�One thing their haters forget is, after all, we were all once young too.

There are many stories out there that you can read. Like the person who once screamed at a security guard for the guard to respect that person and that person’s friends.� A guy who went to Applebees dressed as a bride.� A wannabe actor who loves screaming at people on the streets, a dancer who strips on the middle of the road at a red light to the delight or scare of the drivers, etc, etc etc. The one thing about those stories, is that they all had one character in common: me. I did all that, and that’s not even the beginning of everything I’ve done in my life.

Call it anything you want to call it but the truth is that we have all at one time or the other acted silly, embarrased others (just ask my niece, after I took off my shirt during a professional Lacrosse league game, she did not want to be related to me!)�or just had a good old time fun, the difference is we�are not in the spotlight like those girls are.

Of course, that does not have anything to do with Britney being a good mom or not. Her motherly mistakes, and I am thinking Oh Mother! as I say this, have been very publicized and when she has acted reckless towards her children, that�has no excuses. That’s true and simple,�if she behaves with the kids the way the papers claim she does then that’s a mess of a job for a mother. But then again, nobody’s perfect.

I’ll tell you further about the people that I know who hang out with me. We live in�Middle Class America, and some of us drink, others are recovering addicts, others are Lesbian, and yet�others, like me, are plain crazy people whose teen heart allows them to go wild.

What I am trying to say is that, as long as children are not involved, people can go out and have fun and do crazy, young, wild things. Because the truth is that we have all done them and will continue to do so until the end of history. Otherwise, we’d be�like Barbara Bush, old and grandmotherly. Well, not me, actually, I’d be like some old guy down the road.

So, Jamie Lynn and Emma are jamming it, having fun, being young, probably dating, you know, like that old 80′s song, being “head over heels”.

I think we should all just be like them. True, many of us have children, I have my 2 nieces living with me,�and they will feel embarrased about us if we are just happy or act it, but you can always tell them that’s how they will act too.

Or maybe you don’t want your kids to act the way you do. Well, the thing is that, we all should just be ourselves, as long as we don’t hurt anyone else. When that golden rule is not broken, everyone else should just let us be.

Emma and Jamie Lynn would agree.

By the way, Jamie Lynn would look great with Dolce and Gabbana’s brand new all black leather jacket and skirt. It is, after all, the best season to wear Black, although Black is never out of season. But I’d rather dress in black during winter and not summer and I reckon you would too!

Well, my dear friends, today’s girl on my hot list is the vixen of Hip Hop, Karrine Steffans. I wish she could be the vixen�of�Antonio as well!

Until next week, my lovely, dear readers, we shall talk again! Sha sha sha!���

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Ok, I always thought that U.S. stamps were either for real people to adorn them, or at least, reasonably looking ones. But now it turns out that a fake person, Yoda from Star Wars, will be featured on a stamp. That, my dear friends, is one of the days’ big entertainment news.

I like Star Wars, the movies. I even collected the figures when I was a little boy. But I am not a desperate, must have every Star Wars dildo available outthere kind of fan. That would be my brother in law. And Yoda is as scary as they get as far as Star Wars characters. Even 3pio or however it is that you write it is a candidate for Tiger Beat teen idol or Mr. Universe next to Yoda!

By the way, Yoda’s name sounds suspiciously close to yoga…hmmnn.

Yoda is a great person if you want some wisdom and stuff, and of course if you live in a planet far away from Earth, but you’d think that the postal service would honor someone else with their stamps. How come Johnny Cash has not been given that honor? Cash at least is an American while Yoda wasn’t even from Earth! And he wasn’t real!!

Had I been Luke Skywalker, I would have run to Earth or Mars or any other planet in another galaxy the moment I ran into Yoda, no spaceship needed. I’d probably thought I had died and gone to Hell because the only famous person Yoda reminds me of is The Devil. Those big, wide opened eyes and that skin of a 200 year old man, with a couple of hairs on his brownish head top and who can forget those ears that are so long Yoda could probably scratch them with their very end? I suspect the new United States stamp is one that won’t be getting kissed for a long time.

As far as Yoda’s fashions, well, he and Vincent Margera of Viva La Bam are among that group of people, men specially, the ones who don’t have any idea Madison Avenue and Sex and the City existed. But at least Margera wears shirt and pants, while Yoda wears some kind of towel, also brown by the way, even as the weather in his planet could be freezing for all we know. Maybe that’s why he’s so wrinkled. The fashion police should jail Margera and Yoda away forever but it would be hard to touch someone who looks so….so…so..what’s the word? Disgusting, that’s it. Someone who looks as disgusting as Yoda. Margera is disgusting too but he’s a mile better looking than that little piece of…brown that Star Wars gave us.

Besides that towel he covers himself with looks shabby and ragged. By the way, what’s up with Yoda being allowed to be seen with that towel only by Star Wars guys?? Reminds me of Madonna’s song “My baby’s got a Secret”..well, seems to me old man’s got a secret as well. I respect gay and lesbian people like I said last week. So, Yoda if you are reading this from your computer in planet Xegovia or whatever, drop us a line! You can share your secret and I won’t feel you as a lesser person. But your looks and your fashion taste must change, little old buddy.

Talking of planets, this week’s must do it with babe for me is Lucy Lawless, that of Xena Planet fashion! And I am all for anything Lawless she may want to do with me as long as it’s in the right place!!!

Ladies…follow me. We are gonna have some fun chatting it up and seeing what’s cooking from here until next week. Chau!

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I love Ellen DeGeneres.� She has stood her ground even as the world screams that it’s wrong to be gay-a view I don’t share, of course-and she always fights for what she believes is real.� Sort of like me with the Puerto Rican and�other Independence movements.� Ellen is brave and secure.� And now, she’s barking.

Some doggy poop so called animal rights defensors took a dog away from her hairdresser.� They represented an agency whose name is not worth mentioning because these egomaniacs have gotten their names on the news too much recently.� The issue is their dog, a Brussels named Griffon, had been adopted by Ellen and her partner and when he did not get along with Ellen’s cats, she gave�it away to her hairdresser and her daughters, and to a better home for the dog.

I love dogs. I have one, an Australian Shepperd named Beauty, that has been around 13 years.� We got it when she was 20 days old. She was born on the same day of my parents’�wedding anniversary of all days. Beauty is the only Australian-American-Puerto Rican I have known in my life. Which makes her�Puertoaustramerican.� Let me tell you a couple of stories about Beauty. Beauty used to sleep in the other room.� Since the first time she saw me go into a Diabetic coma, and since I have only gotten those during the morning after my evening insulin shot has�”over”worked, she sleeps�next to me in my family room, and I feel she does that to protect me because she fears I may go�into another coma. The second story about her is, my late grandmother Pola used to hate dogs. Yet with time she came to love Beauty so much she used to pray so that she would die before Beauty did because she would feel depressed if Beauty died first. That, my friends, is how much a part of a family a dog can become.

Of course, it is up to us humans to screw things up.��Men screw women, women screw men, but there are certian people, like, ehem, those from that�animal�dog rescue�association, who are screwing a dog! And two entire�families! What can be more sickening than that? The two�women that took the dog away from the hairdresser’s home, your husbands should watch out cause if you are screwing with a dog you’ll screw anyone else.

You see, Ellen and her partner are suffering, the hairdresser and her daughters are suffering, and Griffon is suffering.�About the only�beings that are not suffering are the dog agency and Ellen’s cats. Do I hear those people from the agency go “meow, meow!?” Griffon does not know what’s going on and he probably misses his extended family.� As far as the hairdresser’s daughter, I don’t know their ages but if they are small,�the�people at the agency have just given them a great example of greed and injustice.

As for Ellen, she was seen talking on her show about the situation wearing a�pair of Black jeans with classic Chuck Taylor Converse shoes in White and a classy Black turtleneck. The accesories made her look young and the color coordinate couldn’t be better. The turtleneck was correct because after all the temperature is coming down, so it’s about time we all start�wearing our stronger cloth around. She looked very adequate on that show, she knew what to put on and her outfit brought out her golden earrings and blond hair.

As far as Griffon, I hope the dog returns home to the hairdresser and daughters soon. Those ladies’ husbands wouldn’t want to know their wives have been screwing dogs. And Griffon deserves better than some dimwitted humans next to him.

I love you all my friends and readers. Until next week, I shall see you around!

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A few years back, Puerto Rican fashion designer Nono Maldonado was an unknown talent, a person whose dresses were selling locally but whose name, internationally speaking, was as well known as stilletto shoes are to boxing gloves brand Everlast. Maldonado was like Leonardo Da Vinci before Da Vinci left his hometown of Vinci, Italy, an artist the world needed to discover.

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Ok, ok, so the title to this article may be a little bit misleading, but there is half truth to that.� At the Fashion Week events, Demi Moore was pictured at some events without husband Ashton Kutcher, who, by the way, has a striking resemblance to NBA basketball player Kyle Korver, formerly of the Philadelphia Sixers, except Korver, of course, is like taller by about a foot or two.

I have never been a big fan of dishing out people’s private lifes, but it comes with this territory I guess, like last week’s reported “sighting” of Oscar De La Hoya wearing less than women’s boxing trunks, for example.� The truth, however, lies in that we the ever peeping Tom’s (or Tammy’s) love to hear titles like these and read about it because after all, we are a society of peeping people.� I like that!

The talk of the week at Fashion Week was Demi Moore, along with her glamorous friends.� She showed up at Van Cleef’s and Arpel’s party with a beautiful White Pearl dress and a gold necklace long enough to fit a giraffe but in Demi’s case she was able to pull the look because she chose to combine the colors right and wearing a long, White Pearl dress meant that we could notice the collar, but not enough to ruin her look.� Instead, it provided a suave background to the dress.� And I have to say, I don’t know these Van Cleef and Arpel dudes, but they could help by extending me an invitation to their posh party next year!

Demi also attended a FIT luncheon, which benefitted Alber Elbaz.� There, she ran into my babe at my dreams, the better than M&M’s Eve, who I am hoping I can spend an EVEning with someday! Actually, I have been doing that for about ten years, since the first time I laid my eyes on her on King Magazine or one of the other magazines dedicated to the fine, luscious Black women among us.� Anyways, Demi was wearing an elegant Black outfit which consisted of boots, a dress and a wallet.� Part of the dress was made�of leather.�She did wear a silver rings necklace like the ones I buy at the 99 cents store and which I wear only for shock value among my friends.� That detail barely took off the shine from her overall outfit and the fact she still erradiates youth made it a passable item for her to hang out with.� As far as my EVEning wetdream…..err, Eve, she looked absolutely glamorous in a White dress with a gold necklace that made her Dark skin’s beautiful color stand out even more as well as her smile.

Next was the Miss Sixty Show, where Demi was joined by�Hilary Swank.� Now to be honest, I really don’t like the outfit Demi wore that night.� Decked in some blue dress with white squares all over, she�looked like�she had been through her trash bags before deciding which one to wear.� Or perhaps she chose to wear the boxing ring’s canvas used by De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather JR.�in May.� Whatever it was she was wearing, it reminded me of The Blue Men, that�performing act that scares you when they look at you with their big white eyes and blue bald heads. Swank also wore blue, but at least her blouse and pants were in only one color.

Demi definitely saved herself on the next show she was spotted at, the Temperley Show, she wore a gracious, White dress with matching nightgown under it, making her look more angelical than ever, if that could be possible.� Definitely better than what she looked like at Ghost 17 years ago, and that’s a lot to say.� She did not look like a�ghost at the Temperley show, she looked like an angel.� Her friend Molly Sims looked like The Devil, as in fiery hot and you know what that does to us men, when she donned a beautiful wine red dress with a golden locket to highlight her blond hair and dark eyes, while another friend, Rachel Zoe, wore a White dress that highlighted her eyes as well.

Demi was�joined by Ashton Kutcher for one show, the Diesel�Runway show, where, along with another bud, Natasha Bedinfield, another girl I would obviously�love to have in my beddingfield, the three of them wore solemn and elegant Black, Ashton putting on a casual but elegant shirt and pants, Demi with a blouse and shorts and Bedingfield with a black leather blouse and a�violet leather skirt that added her a touch of 80′s rock and roll style along with some modern flash.

The last party where Demi was spotted that week was on, uh…September 11 (honestly who would host a show or party on such a gloom day of history!!??) at the Zac�Posen show.� She was with Lucy Liu there, Bernadette Peters and Martha Stewart, who may have been picking a few pointers at the show herself to tell American audiences how it is done to look fashionable.� Demi doesn’t need Martha’s tips.� She looked glorious in a Black dress with a wine red purse that would make Carrie Bradshaw proud.� By the way, I hear the Sex and The City movie is almost upon us and can’t wait to see�it once it is completed!!

As far as Demi and Ashton, or, shall we call it, Demiash? it is far from a split between these two love birds.� But they were pretty much split at the shows during fashion week.� Gotcha!!

I want to say a BIG THANK YOU!�to those of you who emailed Mr. �Eugenio Millot to donate money for his 11 month old son Nicolas, after reading my column last week.� Nicolas Millot had surgery performed last Thursday, and when I informed you about this heart warming little Uruguayan, his family still had to meet the 8,000 dollars needed to perform that surgery.� Thanks in part to you, the ones that read my column and decided to help that family with money, the surgery was performed.� Hopefully next week I will have information to share on the “Little Gauchito”‘s condition.� God bless Nicolas.� And God bless all of you that helped the Millot family through the link I provided you last week.

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