Jessica Simpson is always catching snarky comments about her weight, even when she looks great.   It’s got to hurt, at least a little.  So why would she go and invite commentary about her body by tweeting about her detox and diet regimens?  Jess posted:

“Shocked my system with a vegan diet, special Pu-erh tea from China, and cupping since Friday!”

Pu-erh tea is supposed to be good for detoxing (especially for hangovers, evidently) and weight loss.  Cupping is  a Chinese medicine practice that uses heated glass cups on your skin to “suck” toxins out.  Vegan diet, self explanatory.

She later explained what she was up to:

“Just so everyone is clear.. this has NOTHING to do with weight!. It is about understanding my body through hydration and alkalinity.”

Hold the phone.  The woman who claims “REAL WOMEN EAT MEAT” decides to go vegan for hydration and aklalinity?  I don’t buy it. I also think her body is fine.  She often picks clothes that accentuate all the wrong areas, or that just don’t work for her – you know, at all – but there’s nothing wrong with curves.   She just needs a new stylist and she’ll be just fine.

[ Images by Apega/WENN.com ]

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Kevin Federline lost an impressive 47 pounds on Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp but does he need to give it another run?  He was spotted out in L.A. looking rather larger than we’ve seen him lately.

And you know, K-Fed doesn’t look BAD with more weight on, necessarily… he just looks out of shape.  He said his previous weight gain was due to depression, which is very common, and depression is no joke for sure.  But he then also admitted that he would drink up to 24 cans of soda a day… which is obviously not going to help.   Don’t let yourself backslide, Kevin!

Photo Source:  The Daily Mail

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Jake Gyllenhaal joked that taking care of his lovely locks helped him build all that sexy muscle for his role in Prince of Persia and claimed there was “nothing hard about it.”  However, his trainer, Simon Waterson, knows the truth.  He shared Jake’s workout routine:

In the early morning, Gyllenhaal would put on a 20-pound flak jacket and run around a park and in the sand — simulating scenes he would be filming in Morocco for ‘Persia.’ He’d then head off to script readings and sword fight training before returning in the evening to start his second round of exercise, resistance training.

In addition, Jake ate six times a day – three meals and three snacks – including tons of protein, of course.  He ate a diet of egg white omelets, protein bars, nuts, fish, protein shakes, bananas, dark chocolate, and the “occasional glass of wine.”

Waterson was impressed with Jake’s fortitude and effort.

“He was 110 percent committed…I have to give Jake a lot of the credit. Yes, I was his trainer, but for this part, he was very disciplined. I have a massive respect for him because at the end of the day, he is an actor and very committed to being the best.”

Anyone who can sustain workouts and eating so healthy has got to be given mad props.  I sure don’t have that kind of discipline!  I have to say that I like Jake better without all the bulk, though.

[ Images by Apega / WENN.com ]

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Methinks Life & Style Weekly needs to get a better editor, ideally one with a better memory than at present.  The magazine’s cover story this week is Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian (again), posing in bikinis (again), talking about how they lost weight (again).  Yawn.

The big, shocking Miracle Diet Pill touted in the headlines is, of course, Quick Trim.  Which, with its claims that it ‘rid[s] the body of excess water weight, belly bloating and intestinal bulk’ just sounds like it makes you use the bathroom a lot.

Speaking of claims… Kim claims she is a size 2.  Ain’t no way.  Not with those curves, which look great, by the way, and don’t need to be lied about.

Photo Source:  The Daily Mail

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So it’s not a nude promo video, but hey – it’s Ricky Martin doing a little yard work with no shirt on!   There are worse sights for those of you who like that type of view.

And how cute was Ricky announcing he’s gay like we didn’t already know?

RICKY MARTIN DOES NUDE PROMO VIDEO FOR COMEBACK TOUR!

Photo Source:  TMZ

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Heidi Montag is still uncomfortable with her body following her multi-pack of plastic surgeries.  She told Ryan Seacrest:

“I’m very weird about hugging people now.  [My body] is very fragile.”

Poor Heidi also says she can no longer jog with her “size E or F” breasts.

Hey, I can’t jog and my boobs are nowhere near E or F.  But she seriously doesn’t know what size her boobs are?  Don’t you order by cup size when you go get a breast enhancement?

[ Images by Judy Eddy / WENN.com ]

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Well, yeah, this is an easy one.  Who showed off her toned booty and powerful legs – not to mention powerful lob – during a tennis match yesterday?   And sorry to say, but that isn’t a bare backside you see peeking out from under her tennis skirt – it’s underwear, folks.  Find out whose underwear after the jump! (Read the article)

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It might be January, and freezing/snowing/raining cats and dogs in most of the rest of the country, but the sun was shining this weekend in Miami… and that’s where the paps caught the owner of this week’s Backseat Backside.  What reality star escaped the New York cold to soak up some rays in Florida?  Find out after the jump! (Read the article)

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When I was a kid, I had a book called The Saggy Baggy Elephant. I loved that book. And it’s what immediately came to mind when I saw this picture.  Who needs to find a better fitting bikini bottom?  Find out after the jump! (Read the article)

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I got so scared when I first saw this photo.  Then I remembered that the only person who owns a butt that big is Nicole “Coco” Austin, aka Mrs. Ice-T.   And I was still scared, I mean, good lord!  But at least my fears were contextualized, so I felt slightly better.

So Coco Tweeted this photo of herself working her monstrous ass, and added  this helpful advice:

This is how u do squats in the gym! With Stripper Heels! HaHa- Coco’s workout secrets!

Some bloggers and commenters have suggested that she’s really working out in this picture.  Um, Coco might be blonde and dress like a total slut and have some of the most ridiculous breast implants I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t mean she’s stupid.

Photo Source:  Twitpic

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