Just here to let you onow, my dear readers, that, probably next week, I will do something that has probably never been done before in the history of the internet’s worldwide columns. Just to keeo you in the mystery, I won;t tell you what it is. You just will need to come back to find out.

Meanwhile, I keep trying to obtain books on celebrities so that we can discuss their lifes and controversies with my point of view on it all and your thoughts about it. But for now, I am planning to buy a Jay Leno book at the local Goodwill-yes I buy there and without shame!-a book which promises to give us plenty to talk about.

You don’t know her but my must do woman of the week, and this is a mayuscule MUST cause she makes me hard as a rock-is the Goodwill cashier girl. Maybe tomorrow I will come up with another hottie.

For those of you who may have noticed, some of the articles posted here under my name have actually been written by my niece Isabel Santiago, 9. She wants to be a writer and I love her to death, so much so I chose to stay with her watching tv tonight instead of joining friends at the club. My other pride and love is my other niece, 3 year old Nina Skrdla.

Sanjaya Gave Us Something To Talk About

‘Robocop’ Gets Writer/Director

Charlotte Church Gives Birth to Baby Girl

Celeb Quote Of The Day: Mark Ronson

A Pregnant Jessica Alba Dumps Cash Warren

Was Jamie Lynn Spears Raped?

Gays Accuse ABC of Racism for Firing Isaiah Washington

First Look at Heath Ledger on EW Cover

Jennifer Lopez Pregnant with Twins

Ellen Degeneres And Portia DeRossi Are Getting Married!

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As many of you know, I, Antonio Santiago JR., self-appointed pseudo-celebrity at backseatcuddler.com, am also a boxing writer at ringsidereport.com. My favorite ringsidereport.com and backseatcuddler.com reader, Jay, actually sent me an email about this recently calling me gay, which actually made me very proud becuase Jay made me one of those people, like Lennox Lewis, David Bowie, Annie Lennox, Truman Capote, Madonna and Pope John Paul II, whose sexualities were at least once questioned by someone. So I feel famous

Recently, my editor at ringsidereport.com, Geno McGahee, a great man if there ever was one, sent us boxing writers a team letter recommending we ask for review copies of boxing books which, if you can prove you are a writer online or on a magazine and promise to write a review of the book,  you can get for free. So I started firing away and asking for all kinds of boxing books and have been successful so far. Of course all that means is I will have much more work on my hands.

So a lightbulb went on today inside my brain. My lightbulbs must be broken because that does not happen to me much and when it does, my ideas usually are as brilliant as those of Beavis and Butthead, or worse yet, former O.J. best friend Kato Kaelin or Nicole Ritchie. It ocurred to me that I can also ask for entertainment and fashion related books and review them here for you, my beloved readers that I dedicate my life as a writer to.

I have asked for a couple of books, on Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. I plan to ask for books on Boy George, Lindsay Lohan, Jerry Springer, the aforementioned Madonna, Hanson, Zac Efron, Menudo, Nick Carter, Justin Timberlake, Nicole Ritchie, Jenna Jameson, Howard Stern, Vanessa Hudgens, The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cirus, Avril Lavigne, Carolina Herrera, Yves Saint Laurent, Oscar De La Renta, Hugo Boss, F’Cuck, and just about every famous celebrity entertainer and fashion designers or brands out there.

What you will get is my uncut, unashamed opinion both on the book and the controversies or fashions surrounding the subjects, so far as you can enjoy them, with respect to the subjects shown where respect is merited. For example, I won’t make fun of Brangelina’s international airport type of family. It is cruel and dirty to make jokes of children and I find it rather admirable of the Pitt’s-or is it Jolie’s?-that they are willing to give someone from a third world country an opportunity to have better chances in life.

I don’t want to close my column without giving a shout to the one real celebrity on my family, my father Antonio Sr. He just received his own biographical page at wikipedia.org, the sign that you have actually ARRIVED as a celebrity. Check it out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Santiago     

My must do woman of the week: Have you seen Kola Boof lately? She attends her book readings naked!! Her point is women should not be ashamed of what they have and from my border-feminist mindset, I agree 100 percent and know what she means, it’s not the body she is talking about, it’s the soul. But MY OH MY, those milk-producers she’s got look like Mount Kilimanjaro, and I am a tourist and want to visit those mountains if you get my drift!!

Well amigas, I love you all. Love back to tj69662094@aol.com! Until next week my sisters and some brothers outthere as well, see you later!!  

BREAKING NEWS: Britney Spears Hospitalized Again!

Breaking News: Victoria Beckham Squeezes Into Tight Pants

Celeb Quote Of The Day: Mark Ronson

Breaking News: Paris Hilton Has Been Released from Jail

Breaking News: Angelina Jolie Gave Birth To Twin Girls

Breaking News: Paris Hilton is Out of Touch with Reality

Hayden Panettiere Thinks Paris Hilton Is Smart

Breaking News: WWE Wrestler Strangled Wife, Smothered Son and Hanged Himself

The Fat Lady has Sung for Isaiah Washington

Britney Spears Has Lost Custody of Sons

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Well, amigas, it’s that time of the week again and I can’t wait to get this to you, assuming, of course, and being very vain in doing so, that you actually can;t wait for me to get this to you. As you can see, like all men, I think about sex 24/7, but unlike most men, I do think about other things as well.

Like fashion. Whether you are reading this just to laugh at my fashion sense or because you like it, I love fashion (as well as boxing) and try to be looking out for every opportunity I have to talk to you about fashion.

Tarararararararara……….which leads us to today’s event. From the American Airlines Arena in downtown Miami, Florida, we got the Lo Nuestro Awards to Latin American Music today. All the stars were there, even the ones that are not singers, and  they either shined or stormed with their outfits.

To start with, a friend of mine, Mexican diva Gloria Trevi, looked like a princess wearing a White evening gown and gold earrings. Trevi, who alongside Alejandra Guzman competes for the title of Latin America’s Madonna, has had trouble in the past, being part of Sergio Andrade’s infamous clan and having lived in Argentina and Brazil with Andrade and other clan members before being jailed for more than two years in Mexico. After she was found innocent of charges, she retook her musical career and tonight she sparkled like the princess, beautiful woman and human being she is.

Jacqueline Bracamontes, for her part, looked splendid in a silver and cream dress, which highlighted her dreamy “back apple”, a temptation if there ever was one to men after Adam’s temptation by Eve and The Devil. By the way, what’s up with women and The Devil always trying to tempt us poor, weak males?

Salsa singer Giselle, the Latin American version of Beyonce Knowles, wore a peach dress that really, really highlighted her natural skin color, making the Puerto Rican girl one of the night’s highlights by far. It may be that I am impartial towards Black women, but the girl looked delicious in that dress, as in delicious as a peach. (White women, don’t worry, I am into women of every color, it’s just that I like Chocolate a lil’ better).

The one who did get noticed for the wrong reasons, as always, was Puerto Rican merengue legend Olga Tanon. Tanon has had a long and fructiferous career and deserves the adjectives legend and diva by far and away, and the fact she works hard to provide a better life to her two children, one of which has a potentially deadly blood disease, makes her a hero in my eyes and she has my full support, and she is also a personal friend of mine, but when it comes to fashion tastes, she’s always ranked high…in bad taste. Today, she wore a navy blue…something, because I can’t call it an outfit really. It looked like she picked out the curtains from her room and put them on, and her look reminded me of the El Morro Castle in San Juan because that…thing, made her look antiquated. Olga, you are youthful, strong and the sweetest person one can imagine. But you must look what you are, not what women were in the 5th Century!

Ok, ok, today’s woman I must do in life….I will go with the aforementioned Giselle, very tempting and a good, young body, my best bet is I will never get close to her ’cause she’ll be like “Loser!”, but hey I can dream….it isn’t like you never dreamed about Justin Timberlake or, if you are a bit older, Kirk Cameron or David Cassidy, is it?

 On a sadder note, I would like to dedicate this week’s fashion column to my friend from childhood, Matty Couture, who passed away two saturdays ago in a car crash. She was 21. Rest in peace, friend. You will be missed.

Well until next time, adieu mis amigas del alma, and take care. Keep buying good sense fashion clothes so your husbands’ minds keep as busy as mine! And remember, girls, Antonio Santiago loves you!    

Carmen Electra Stars in ‘Select a Slut’

Who is “Dancing With the Stars” Julianne Hough?

‘Dancing with the Stars’ New Contestants Revealed

Adam Carolla Is Joining ‘Dancing With The Stars’

Kristi Yamaguchi Wins Dancing With The Stars

Is Lance Bass Joining Dancing With The Stars?

Jane Seymour’s Tango on ‘Dancing With The Stars’

If Celebs Weren’t Stars, They Might Look Like This!

Dancing With The Stars Has A New Sex Scandal!

Sex And The City Cast Visits Oprah

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This is one crazy chick. Philidelphia news anchor Alycia Lane, who made headlines a while back when she sent bikini photos of herself to a married NFL commentator Rick Eisen, is getting herself in legal trouble this time.

The bizarro incident occurred when Alycia Lane, an Emmy Award-winning anchor for KWY-TV in Philadelphia, was riding in a cab with hunky radio DJ boyfriend Chris Booker and another couple when their taxi was stalled behind a slow-moving, unmarked police car, sources said.

When the unmarked car stopped for a light at Ninth Avenue and 17th Street in Chelsea, one of the men in Lane’s cab went over to the vehicle and yelled, “I don’t care if you’re a cop, drive faster!” the sources said.

And the crazy train keeps on rollin’ :

The petite, twice-divorced Lane, 35, then also got out of the cab and began snapping photos, getting right up into the face of the male cop doing most of the grilling, the sources said.

One of the three cops, a woman, told the TV anchor to back away, saying, “You can take pictures, but you have to step back,” the sources said.

That’s when Lane went nuts, shouting, “I don’t care that you’re a cop - dyke bitch!” the sources said.

Then she walloped the officer in the face, the sources said.

Well there goes her credibility. Good thing she’s hot. She better keep herself in shape as modelling will be about all she will be able to do for a while now.

News Anchor Alycia Lane Fired by Station

Mug Shot: Lane Garrison

Write to Lane Garrison In Jail!

Breaking News: Benoit Text Messages Released

Five Women Dead in a Lane Bryant Shooting

Urban Cougar Katie Couric and Her New Boy Toy

Miss Nevada Katie Rees Arrested (Mugshot)

‘Biggest Loser’ Ali Vincent does ‘Got Milk?’ Ad

Pregnant Missing Marine Maria Lauterbach is Dead

Lindsay Lohan Countersues Restaurant Employee

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Hey amigas! How are you all? Well, I’ll start by saying that this week, I want to dedicate this column to Joey Bishop, who passed away on October 17th. I know, that was a month ago, but still,  those days I was probably too busy preparing my Halloween costume to even think about dedicating something to him. Whether we like it or not, him, Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis JR. became part of Hollywood history and a piece of Americana as The Rat Pack.

Ok, to the current issues now.  Well, maybe not so current.  As you all know by now, Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy split.  She rode his plane and then took off on another one and headed home to South Africa.  Maybe his plane was not working well enough.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. Today, I want to talk about Harry’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II. I love the Queen’s dresses, they are elegant, luxurious and….blue!

I love royal blue on any dress, provided, of course, that you have the good sense to wear them only once in a blue moon. The Queen wears royal blue to honor her country and I understand that, but shouldn’t she wear a white hat and red shoes too if she wants to honor Union Jack so badly? Jack, I beg you to please get the…blue out of the way, because your Queen has overworn it! She looks ragged, she looks stale and bored with all that blue on all the time.

Well, perhaps her looks aren’t entirely blue’s fault, since she is ripe old already, and, looking back through photos, she was never quite Richard Simmons, hugging and kissing people and congratulating them for their success either. And she is boring. While we love to talk about the Royal Family, I cannot imagine her sitting with me and laughing about a Desperate Housewifes episode, or her son Prince Charles and I, Antonio Santiago, speaking of the good ol’ days when Frank Bruno challenged Mike Tyson for boxing’s world Heavyweight title. I just don’t see them talking to regular people like you and I, because, heck, they don’t do that.

The Queen has got to wise up.  Hasn’t she caught up something on her trips to New York, Rome, Delhi, Paris and around her own backyard in London? She would actually look quite elegant dressed in Black, White or another, sober color. I like royal blue, I love royal blue on any event, it looks classy and elegant. I just hate when people wear the same color over and over again.  Maybe The Queen doesn’t have anyone who knows how to wash clothes, so she has been wearing the same dress over and over again, only changing the way in which she puts it on!

I truly believe she needs a few blues clues!

Ok, so it’s that time of the week. The title girl I need to do this week goes out to…ta ta ta tan!! ta ta ta tan! And the winner is: Chelsy Davy!!!!! The newly singled South African is gorgeous, she’s hot, and she just broke off that Prince who should turn into a frog forever, Harry.

Well, my dear amigas, that’s all for now. Until next week, I love you all! Take care and watch your men, I know how we men are, so trust me, you have to!

Kate Middleton Worried About Becoming Queen

Guess the Celeb: Royal Bikini Bottom Edition

Stella McCartney shows off….her talent

Cate Blanchett Looking Regal at Film Premiere

Celebrity Quote: Kate Hudson

Papa Smurf: Man Turns Blue

Prince William and Kate Middleton Spending Christmas Apart

His Royal Hotness Prince Harry & Chelsy Davy Are Back On

Mischa Barton Gets a Royal Kick On Her Behind

Kate Hudson…What are you Wearing on your Head?!

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In what is so nutty it has to be true, Vincent Gallo, the director/actor/writer etc of 2003s The Brown Bunny, sent an e-mail to the NY Post film critic, Frank Scheck regarding Scheck’s comments that the oral sex scene with Chloe Sevigny was possibly done using a prosthetic penis.

 ‘The Brown Bunny’ is an ultra-low-budget film. With that in mind, the expense to create a prosthetic that could pass on film would be well out of the film’s budget, and so far no one has come close to making such a thing pass as real…

If one wasn’t blinded by jealousy, it would be easy to tell [my] scene was real. Chloe Sevigny herself has publicly said the scene involved us performing real sex.

Seriously? Vince thinks the guy is jealous of his penis? Really? Oh but he does go on to give a bit more crazy.

“Why then does Scheck promote doubt about the scene’s authentic nature? I speculate it’s because Mr. Scheck most likely has a very small, ugly penis and needs to believe that only in make-believe does anyone have one like mine!”

Only in make-believe? He’s rockin’ the Charles Manson look on the bus to crazytown. I swear that was the most pathetic thing I’ve read today. Read the entire diatribe here.

source

‘Biggest Loser’ Ali Vincent does ‘Got Milk?’ Ad

Ali Vincent, First Female Winner of ‘Biggest Loser’

Vincent Fantauzzo Paints Harrowing Image of Heath Ledger

Actress Samaire Armstrong Seeks Treatment

Ricki Lake Turned to Food After Childhood Sexual Abuse

Kirsten Dunst Is A Liar!

Brittany Snow Struggled with Eating Disorder and Cutting

Nick Does Nashville

When Men Get So Freaking Horny by Chris Crocker

Pop/Punk Group Paramore: Breaking Up?

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